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Autor Thema: Dein Computer, das unbekannte Wesen  (Gelesen 2288 mal)
Damion
Gast
« am: 09. Januar 2006, 13:04:19 »

Hai

Zugegeben, ich hab es aus 'nem anderen Forum, aber tragisch find ich die Dinger schon.
Mein Favorit ist der Letzte.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...
===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?
===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!
===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.
===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============

A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
==============

Have Phun
Michael
Gespeichert
Damion
Gast
« Antworten #1 am: 26. März 2006, 11:56:20 »

Die 10 eindeutigsten Anzeichen dafür, dass sie eine miese Bank haben

10. Pro Monat müssen Sie mindestens zwei neue Kunden werben, sonst wird Ihr Konto gelöscht.

9. Einen Kredit bekommen Sie nur gegen Vorkasse.

8. Die Sparstrümpfe, in die Sie an jedem Monatsanfang Ihr
Geld stecken, hängen einfach ungesichert in der Schalterhalle.

7. Die Füße Ihres Filialleiters schmecken abscheulich, aber für eine Überweisung haben Sie ja schon ganz andere Sachen gemacht.

6. Als Sie tausend Euro abheben möchten, werden Ihnen Ort und Zeitpunkt der Übergabe ins Ohr geflüstert.

5. Um die Kontoführungsgebühren bei Ihrer Bank zu bezahlen, nehmen Sie bei einer anderen Bank einen Kredit auf.

4. Mit Ihrer Kreditkarte kommen Sie nur zu Geld, wenn Sie damit nachts Türen aufbrechen.

3. Wieviel Gewinn Ihre Bank macht, hängt davon ab, wie die Pferde ins Ziel kommen.

2. Die Filiale heißt "Zum flotten Zloty".

1. Sie bekommen Ihr Geld nur zurück, wenn Sie die richtigen Sachen dabei haben: Pistole, Strumpfmaske und einen großen Sack.
Gespeichert
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